Tetra Pak

In psychiatry, it is a well-known phenomenon that individuals on the road to cognitive decline create virtual instances or agents to explain events they do not understand or do not want to be responsible for. For example, an old couple I knew (call them my parents) invented Mr. Else, who had the unthankful task of being responsible for all the weird things happening in the house of this couple. When a milk Tetra Pak wasn’t at place in the fridge but appeared several days later in the cupboard of the sitting room (with all the impressive microbiological consequences), it was Mr. Else’s fault. When the gardes bushes were cut down not by 10 cm (as my mother instructed my father to do) but by more than 30 cm, it was Mr. Else’s fault.

Recently, Russia detected (or revived) this concept of the mysterious »Else« instance or power. They first used it after the shot down of MH17 (»Russia is not responsible for this«) and continued with it from the first days of their attack on Ukraine. On March 10, 2022, two weeks after the beginning of the invasion, Lawrow stated: »We have not attacked Ukraine«. After the unfolding of the Bucha war crimes, the Russians said: »We have not killed these civilians.« And of course, after the shelling of the Odessa harbor just one day after signing the contract to guarantee a safe transport of wheat, Russia stated: »It was not us«

But who then? Assuming that Ukraine doesn´t attack its own people and infrastructure continuously (which conspiracy professionals believe she does to blame Russia), the solution is very easy. It is a mysterious, invincible »Else« power, operating in  secret, maybe from some parallel worlds such as the one in »Stranger Things«. Maybe CIA and other western security services have been able to penetrate this parallel world and to manipulate the Else power to do things that blame Russia.

Concerning the Milk tetra Pak, my father three weeks later had a singular moment of remembrance and said to my mother: »I think it was me who put the milk into the sitting room cupboard.«

Russia will never confess it misplaced the monstrous black milk of death Tetra Pak in Europe.